A Meaningful Blog.

When I was younger, my biggest fear of dying.
Then when I got older it was dying a virgin.
And now, my biggest fear is losing all those that I love and dying before I find that one special person.
I don't want to be wandering around in the afterlife with no clue of what love really is.
Lately, as my grandmother gets older, I fear what will become of me after her death.
I can truly say that I love my grandmother more than I love anyone else on this planet.
I believe that her death will destroy the person I am, leaving me an empty husk.
I cannot face death, I still haven't accepted that Cody's gone.
I don't believe I ever will.
I think to often, and to much.
I always wonder things like: is my other half out there? What if I get cancer? Am I unloveable?
I know I worry to much.

But honestly, life terrifies me, not death.

A Poem From A Chat Room.

It started so well, that late winter's night.
Quite hot she looked, i must say at first sight.
Her shirt she took off, with naught even a care.
And that's when i saw, this girl was covered in hair.
And so i said unto her, while i do crave some nookie.
I'll be damned my dear, if i sleep with a wookie.

A Little Less Swamped.

So I have been working my butt of to get most of my work done, which I have.
I have to say, I am a bit proud of myself, you know besides going back to smoking.
:[
So today, I am going to get my check and buy some things that I need.
Like more cartridges for my electronic ciggarette.
I think I broke the n on my keyboard too because half the time it decides not to work sometimes.
I haven't been keeping up on my sign language, maybe I should find a free class somewhere with people I can practice with?
Well, more meaning full blogs and such later, ta-ta.

A Little Behind.

So, since I am new to this whole online school plus trying to learn sign language at the same time I am a little lost in my life. I do nothing all day but procrastinate, and I fear it is only going to get worse. So far I am so behind in alot of my classes and I have a lot of making up to do. However, I just can't seem to focus. I found a new favorite song. I'm waiting for my one, true love. I want to be skinny, but I'm lazy and can't seem to stop eating. I miss someone, I want to crawl in a whole. I'm hot and cold. All the time. I watched Slumdog Millionaire last night, great movie. I wish someone loved me like that.  I'm going to go and try to catch up and get my life in order, so for the next couple of days I will not be on here. <3